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ぶろ愚の骨頂 不安の塊

ぶろ愚の骨頂

源九郎の日々のつれづれ、心のつれづれ、Mac & iPhone 3Gのつれづれ

11

2006


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2006年11月07日(火)

不安の塊 [その先にある光]

 mixiのマイミクさんに毎日のように励まされたり慰められたりしてるけど、正直云ってきつい。色恋沙汰にはてんで弱いオレ。

 ちょい凹ンでる…。

 潰れそうだ。

 不安の塊がみぞおちの辺りに詰まっているみたいだ。

 つらいね、2年ぶりのこの感情。
 久々の本気。本気で好きになるなンて。
 嬉しさ半分、つらさ半分…。

 人を本気で好きになると、嬉しい反面、苦しいッてことを忘れていた。

 仕事中も家にいても何をしてても考えてばかり。先の期待よりも今の不安の方が大きい。
 独りの時間が長かった所為か、どうも悪い方向にばかり考えてしまう。
 長い空白がオレを押し潰す。

 こういうマイナス思考は嫌われる原因になりかねないンだけどね。
 まぁ、これがオレだ。これで嫌われるのなら仕方ないが、もう少し強い男にならなくては…。

 独り相撲取ってるオレ。

 オレはあいつにとって相応しいのか?

 独りぼっちは、希望さえをも蝕ンでいく。

 勇気を奮い立たせよう。

 また、誰かの為に生きたいと思うことが出来るように。

 オレは好きな人の為にしか生きられないのだから。

Posted by 源九郎 at 00時35分

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