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ぶろ愚の骨頂 虚しいあがき…

ぶろ愚の骨頂

源九郎の日々のつれづれ、心のつれづれ、Mac & iPhone 3Gのつれづれ

12

2005


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2005年12月18日(日)

虚しいあがき… [戯れ言]

 やっぱり、一人は淋しいな。

 すぐに恋人になンてなれるとは思ってはいないから、当然メル友から、とは思うけど、そのメル友すら簡単にはできもしない。
 以前に「結婚」という形にはこだわらないと書いたけど、それでもやっぱり一人ッてのは淋しくて、一緒にいてくれる人がいてくれたらと願うのだけれど、思うようにはことは進まない。
 そりゃ、自分から動けばどうにかなるのかも知れない。あちこちの掲示板を見て気に入ったコに片端からメールを送れば「下手な鉄砲も…」の原理で、一人くらいは応えてくれるかも知れない。でもそれはできない。やりたくない。
 オジサンでカッコよくもない男は、そうそう受け入れられないのが解っている。そんなことをしたら、ただの迷惑メールになってしまう…。
 結局、勇気もないオレは、待つことしか出来ないンだよな。

 一度失敗した恋を未だに引きずり続けていることも、ちょっとしたネックにはなっているのかも知れない。
 あの奇跡的とも云える出会いはもう無いだろうな。奇跡はそう何度も起こるモンじゃないしね。

 結局は、このまま一人で行かなきゃならないンだろうな。

Posted by 源九郎 at 22時14分

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