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ぶろ愚の骨頂 また会いに行きます

ぶろ愚の骨頂

源九郎の日々のつれづれ、心のつれづれ、Mac & iPhone 3Gのつれづれ

2

2007


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2007年02月17日(土)

また会いに行きます [その先にある光]

 心配が先に立ち、矛盾と苦悩を抱えたまま会いに行った。
 オレが会いに行ったからといって、どうにかなるとは思ってはいない。なにかの励みになれるほどオレの存在は大きくもないし、かけてやれる気の利いた言葉もオレは持ってはいない。
 それでも会いに行かなければと思ったのは、どうしても放っておけなかったから、心配だったから、なにがあろうともオレの気持ちは変わらないから…。

 普段と変わらぬ態度は強がりなのだろうか…?
 それでも言葉の端々から感じられる想いは、やっぱりオレには辛過ぎる。

 …今日で最後にした方がいいのかな…。
 そんな考えが何度も何度も頭をよぎる。
 そしてまた、同じことを繰り返す。
「今日こそは…。こンな時だからこそ」と心に決めて来たはずなのに、抑えられない自分が情けなく思えて「やっぱり今日で最後にしよう…」という思いが強くなる。

「また来てね」

 別れ際の言葉に一瞬返事に躊躇いが出た。
 オレの気持ちを察してくれたのだろうか…?
 前に一度「もう会えないな」とオレが云ったことへの気遣いなのかな。
 そンなオレの返事は「気が向いたらな」…なンて返事だ。もうちょっとマシな返事が出来なかったのか。

 直接云えなかったけど、また会いに行くよ。必ず会いに行くよ。
 オレの存在がなにかの励みになるわけでも、支えになるわけでもないだろうけど、暇つぶしくらいにはなれるかもしれない。(ヒマ〜ヒマ〜連呼してたけど…)

 いつまでも元気な笑顔が続くことを祈りながら、オレはキミのためだけに存在する。

 今度はいつに行けるか判らないけど、必ず会いに行くよ。

画像(320x95)・拡大画像(480x143)

眉毛刈られた…。左右で形揃ってないし…(汗

Posted by 源九郎 at 22時34分

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